I’ll never be ready

 

Most nights I lay thinking about the terror I wake up to every morning. People say that this pain will leave eventually and things will be back to normal. Yet I don’t remember when life seemed normal. I’ve had a year with more sadness than I am used to, but I can not take much more of this empty feeling. 

I miss her more than anyone will ever know or understand. Dreams come and go with visions of you. I relive and playback the sound of your voice because it is the only thing that seems to bring me comfort. 

I hold in pain that drags me down because I want to forget that you aren’t here still. I want to forget there was ever a moment where you weren’t here. I’ve never experienced such heartbreak like this. I’ve never been so sad and so alone without you. 

Time will lament on without you. Pictures forever capture your eternal beauty and your love for life with endearment. 

I can’t help but drown in my melancholy sea of tears. 

I’ve said goodbye to you but I don’t think it’ll ever be enough because I was never ready for this. 

My past year has been nothing but pure chaos and all I wish for is a pause button. 

I understand how fortunate I am to have all that I do I just hate that reality isn’t perfect. It’s hard to cope how a castle can crumble down. 

I miss you carol joy I know how much you loved me, I just hope you knew how infinite my love is and will be forever.