Ugh, not another Carrie Bradshaw

From When Harry Met Sally, to 13 Going On 30, ending at the notorious series Sex and The City. New York City dating has always, and will always, be perceived at the most glamorous place on earth. Luckily for the native New Yorker daters, we have to carry these expectations with us everywhere we go. Friends, siblings, and even parents have this image in their heads of what dating looks like. I'll try to paint that beautiful escape for you: 

The Uptown local 6 sweeps towards the platform. Arriving at Union Square she stands waiting for the narrow doors to open before her. The wind from the downstairs rush passes through her hair as she steps through the threshold. Taking her seat far from the cities crush her headphones blast throwback songs from her childhood. Falls city winds have returned, the Wash fountain has been turned off and tank tops are replaced with leather bombers, and long trench coats. Her music echos from her ear buds. The train comes to a halt arriving at 23rd. The stillness of the train is almost poetic. 

The doors pull back as a line of people wait to enter. She looks up and makes eye contact with him. He is ultimately charmed by her soft eyes and is eager to know more. They exchange numbers and their conversations soon lead to a planned dinner near Central Park and down the line cocktails at JoyFace, her favorite dive bar. Their romance unfolds as smoothly as the wind passing the trees.

Now this is what dreams are hoped for. A beautiful escape of bliss and comfort. Meeting on the subway and falling in love in Central Park. But oh how the Rom-Com lovers are oh so wrong for their naive wishful thinking. It more so goes like this: 

The Brooklyn bound local L is running 5 minutes off schedule and she is late. Her makeup starts to run as people stare her down. Her laced corset stops her from breathing as her friends patiently wait for her arrival near Broadway Junction. Its Halloween and the costumes consume the train. She sits in silence and notices a guy staring her down. She thinks to herself, "why is he staring so much?" While looking down at her phone waiting for the baby to stop screaming she looks up and sees the man. He points to her chest and asks, "are you a poet?" she fakes a laugh and responses with "yes." The 3min convo ends with, "can I get your digits?" He texts her after that interaction and she asks, "what should we do?" referring to the date, and his response was not towards the date. She rolls her eyes and shouts are her phone. 

This is the reality of dating in the big the apple the concrete jungle, which feels more like just a jungle of chaos. Every first date ends with a wtf moment. Because where are these men coming from? Like really? 

This generation is filled with screens over actually being seen. We pass hundreds of people on the hustle and bustles of Manhattan too scared to speak, or too busy. What used to be meeting at the mall has been switched to meeting on Hinge. 

Dates are meeting at dive bars grabbing a drink and "chilling," (whatever that means). No longer are dates these days charming. I am not getting swept off my feet at an opera or a boat party. Instead, I am lying on a mattress (on the floor) in his dads basement watching a horrible horror film. Or getting ghosted after 3 nice dates because the movie I showed him was too much for him (that one may be my bad). 

Unfortunately this is dating in NYC. My life is not as glamours as Carrie's which is okay, I mean I am not a 32 year old journalist wearing $1,200 Manolo Blahnik's on a writers budget. Instead, I am a 22 year old journalist working retail in SoHo juggling senior year, and a social life. 

The news outlet, Time out, recently came out with an article ranking the worst cities to date in. Not to my surprise, the top of that list was New York. Nothing shocks me about dating in the city anymore not even that one guy that told me he wasn't actually ghosting me he was just in rehab. Or that one guy that was shocked that I didn't have more than 1,000 followers on Instagram when he asked to look at my profile. 

Some of my stories are really funny, which is why they mostly end with me giggling and asking myself, "what the hell?" I think my best story starts with drinks at a bar and ends with us overlooking the city on top of a college building ( I swear I walked almost 15 flights in the pouring rain to get there). Random? Yes, but a fun story? Absolutely. 

I think of the hilarious, the bad, and then the good stories that have come out of dating here. And don't get me wrong there is definitely some good scenes where the movies almost didn't lie. Like, escaping the city and exploring his home town. Alone in our own bubble of bliss. There are stories like this that remind me that moments like these do exist. Its getting through the jungle to the destination that is the issue. 

With all that being said, I think that dating anywhere sucks. It's awkward, repetitive, and exhausting. We are so consumed with social media and dating apps that I think we forget that we are just people. People that don't need a like on a profile to go on a date. Yet, that is what it has come to. These apps aren't going anywhere and we have learned to be okay with that. 

I'll jump back into the deep pool of dating that is NYC when I am ready again. But for now catch me sipping wine and watching one of those false NYC Rom-Coms, because let's be real, the hope for that romance never leaves. And we must stay entertained, right?