Time Fleeting Memories

 In high school we all learned about William Shakespeare. It was Romeo this and Juliet that followed by tragedy and death; taking and cutting him in stars longing for a forbidden star-crossed love. We all love and hate the story. As young adults in high school we go through obsessions; falling into a niche subject or person. Studying their works and craving to know everything. Like most cliches, I fell for Shakespeares words analyzing each and every meaning. Though I was forced to recite Romeo and Juliets monologue in high school and can't remember it to this date, these words (that have nothing to do with unforbidden lust) continue to scratch a part of my brain....

"Time is very slow for those who wait, very fast for those who are scared, very long for those who lament, very short for those who celebrate, but for those who love, time is eternal." 

Time is inevitable. The speed at which it moves is almost like a pipe dream. Today I am a senior in college, embarking on a new year ahead of me: soon the chapter will end - one dedicated too many hours of undergrad classes and a history of foolish decisions, and even more foolish outfit choices. But, yesterday feels like my first steps freshly out of high school, and the day before, felt like laying in the rain; with my body still underneath the concrete in my drive way side-by-side to my sisters warmth. 

I tend to think of time fleeting moments and those that felt infinite; and the only way escaping was through anger. But I guess Punky Brewster was right when she said, the older you get the wiser you get, because the older I become the more I realize that these growing pains reveal the best gift; your true self. 

Corny right? Why yes of course, I am a writer what did you expect? As I sit here in my suit and steaming hot tea next to me (because every great writer has a great suit) I think of her. 

Holidays remind me of memories and moments connected to my childhood. These thoughts spark in each and everyone of us - tis the season I guess. Looking back at oldish photos, some from a few months ago to ones years ago, one things stays consistent. That being, unconditional connect to love. A love that allows time to become eternal and to experience this eternal diaspora, is gratitude.

I've always had an iffy relationship with gratitude. I can still see my younger self rolling her eyes backward and upright again as my mother announces to the dinner table, "now everyone say one thing you are grateful for." Like mom, why? I remember thinking to myself, "gosh this is so stupid." 

But then, I read Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. Now I don't think this book changed my life; I mean I haven't touched that book in ages, but what I can say is it definitely changed my perspective. I think that when we are young we tend to think that the world revolves around us. We think and are motivated by our own ambitions and pursuits. Running away from the past focusing on the future - leaving out the present. 

I've been practicing gratitude more. Taking a moment to decompress and really think. Spending more time by myself and appreciating the little moments. Setting aside what I long for focusing on what is in front of me. 

This upcoming year will be filled with so many changes, and many life changing decisions which I am so grateful for. I hope to keep the blessings I have in life, and be open to the many more that are to come my way. 

Happy Holidays, call your grandma and loved ones.