The countdown

When I started pre-k I was so eager to ride the bus by myself. My humongous bright pink backpack was bigger than my whole body. Starting school was only the beginning of the next 18 years. From elementary, to middle school, to high school, to making the big decision of where you will find yourself for the next four years of undergrad. Little Savannah dreamt of life in a big city. Loud crowds, chaotic Saturdays, and finding the best coffee shops. It's a bittersweet feeling to start the countdown, finally. 

NYU has given me an endless amount of stories. A lot I have shared and a handful I have kept to myself. Each adventure during undergrad has taught me something new about myself. I have had the luxury to see new continents and reconnect with my favorite countries. I have written on the Ponte Vecchio, in front of the Duomo in Florence, and in the sun fighting the blazing sun in Accra. I have learned so much not only in those excellent journeys, but also in the classroom. When I started studying I had no idea what direction I would follow. Did I want to be a nurse, an English major, or art history major? I had no idea. I mean if I am being completely honest I don't think I even know now. But taking my first Journalism class sparked a sense of self. I have loved those moments meeting new people and listening to an endless amount of stories. Seeing laughter from strangers and forming a connection built on understanding. 

Oh the city's crush, the one that never sleeps and illuminates while you sleep. NYC is never linear. I have learned that in my three years of calling this place home. I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I decided to apply to a university in the city; a university that is the city. I don't think I could ever describe what it feels like to walk through the city alone. It's like becoming a different person with each season. Summer is the heat of the sun drawing you to sit on a picnic blank connecting with the grass. Watching an array of individuals commute and converse with the world around them. Fall is the leaves blowing in the wind, tickling the hair that blows past your nose. Winter is sunless days bringing in a haze. Sharing a cheap red bottle with your friend in Gramercy. Spring is the rain that falls against your window sill. Trailing down and bringing in Mays flowers and free tulips in Union Square. Each season is a countdown to another semester down in the books. 

I was convinced that I wouldn't miss undergrad. The excessive papers, peer projects, and early classes. But as the countdown approaches closer and closer I yearn for the start again. Looking back at the first day and seeing where I am at the last is joyous. The first Garza to complete college. The first grandchild to say "I did it." I am beyond grateful to have had the opportunity to live a dream and to have called it reality. Because of college I think I finally know what I want to do and who I want to help. 

August 28th 2021, was my last day at home, the day before leaving for Italy. I was fully packed; two suits cases and a carryon ready to go. I was sitting on my bed for the last time for a while. I was writing a letter to my mom, sister, and dad. Before I could even finish my own my mom came in with one of her own. I truly believe that my mom is one of the best writers. I could be a little bias or you just have not had the chance to read what I get the pleasure to. She told me to reach even further than they could have fathom. To fall in love, work hard, and to dig deep. And though I have not fallen in love with a significant other, I have fallen in love with a life built with the courage my mom let me follow. And though my hands linger on the sides of body, I remember that no matter how far I go my hands continue to reach for my families. 

As I complete my four years at college not just for me, but for my ancestors that could have never have dreamt of this moment. For a beautiful reflect of my mother, Carol, who can't be here physically but will linger over every moment. Thanks to all the beautiful souls that continue to show up and to those that were only meant to stick around for a while.