Life abroad

(This blog post has no correlation to the peace corps these are my own opinions and views) 

I’ll miss the vacuum hitting the carpet at 8:30 AM, listening to my mother talk on the phone and giggling in-between words. Her laugh echoing throughout the house; slipping past Luna and Layla barking and running for their toys. I'll think about her when I smell coffee in the morning and pine after her when I see my host moms cooking for their families. Colorado has always been home, but it was never my home - until now. Home is an extremely complicated concept for me to wrap my head around. So much discourse, literature, and commentary around this topic brings so many different points. "Home is where the heart is," will hang in living rooms inviting others to join a piece of themselves. Others view home as a person; warming every inch of themselves by the fire of their presence. 

For me home was adaptable; it was always more of a feeling. So many different places and people have been home for me. I always hated being asked where home was, because for me I never truly had one answer. 

Home was the Italian cobblestone - sitting in a small Naples restaurant as a kid ordering an American pizza with french fries and hot dogs. Home was also the sunset cliffs with my grandma watching the sun go down. Home was the comfort of the skyscrapers and ordering a latte at News Bar. And home was finally, being back to where I took my first breath. Seeing my baby cousin grow around the comfort of people and food. Having parties filled with music and love. 

Leaving was harder than I thought it would be, but I know everyday that I spend here in Kosovo was the right decision. I wake up to fresh air and new beginnings and a family so open and endearing. I walk to the bus stop surrounded by greenery and mountains. I feel like I am already learning so much about myself, and though it is not always the easiest it was something I needed to do for myself. 

I have been in Kosovo for two weeks, and in these two weeks I don't think I have ever been this tired in my life. And though I am tired I'd be tired like this all my life because the feeling I get from being here is worth being exhausted for. 

 I watch my host mom cook for us and I sit with this new family at the table. I cannot help but think about my own mother. The connection makes it easier to integrate and feel at home. Helping with the dishes and cleaning up feels comforting and calming. The importance of family dinner is so warming and though I can't understand everything what I do understand is the love.